Friday, February 20, 2009

I want to know, can you show me? I want to know about these strangers like me. Tell me more, please show me. Something's familiar 'bout these stranger

Afternoon and welcome to the none fish bowl, weekenders edition of "A Dyke in Kings Clothing." Normally I use useless work time to jot down my thoughts and rant my handsome king head off. Today I feel the need to do so, but not from my comfy padded chair withing my cubical (which in retrospect is not cube shaped) but from the noisy and people filled Eatons Center food court. Why you ask? I would love to say that it is due to the fact that at this moment I am enjoying "people watching" or that I am studying the sociological norms of eating in public places. Sadly, I am here because there is free Wifi. (Don't judge me please.)

On the note of the free Internet here at Le centre Eatons, I`m appalled to see that any site with the term "Lesbian, Bisexual or Gay" has been blocked from sites you can access. Please don't think I felt the need to sit in the middle of 200 people and surf for porn, I was simply trying to access my favorite site (A forum dedicated to queer entertainment news.) Frankly I this this is ridiculous. I understand the need to have some control over sites because this can be considered a "family" environment but honestly I feel like its police state here. I just feel like its far to excessive.

So, I am eternally grateful that this week is almost over. I don't know whether it is a culmination of weeks of no real weekend or maybe my hormones have taken over and I`m PMSing more then I have in years. I have been short tempered, plain old bitchy and moody and emotional all week. Frankly I`m exhausted at this point and am unbelievably happy that I can see the end of the tunnel. Hell I`m falling asleep as we speak. The stress and constant work has taken its toll on my health and sanity. For those I`ve been short or emotional with my apologies. I hope you all know that this isn't my normal state and I assure you, after this weekend I`ll be much better. I`m not a fan of asking for help under any circumstance and over the last 2 weeks have reached out on more then one occasion. So thank you to those whom I have turned to over the passed weeks and lets all collectively hope it doesn't have to happen again.

This lack of patience has transferred itself into my minimal ability to handle stares and remarks this last month. I can deal with being seen as either male or female but find it ridiculously difficult to be seen as a "what" or "it." Fucking get over it already! Call me "sir", call me "miss" I really don't care but decide already. Its is the looks of confusion or discussed that tick me off. I almost appreciate the improper pronoun cause at least you have pegged me as either fish or foul. I`m just fed up with being a thing as opposed to a person.

Okay, enough ranting. And besides my battery is running low and I am no where near a plug. Thanks for listening today. Here`s to a better tomorrow.

No comments: