Thursday, September 25, 2008

I was saying boo erns

Early morning from the fish bowl. I`m feeling a little out of sorts tonight. I got a promotion that I am happy about but didnt get the promotion I was really wanting. I`ll be making an insane amount of money but not working the best scheule ever. You cant have it all right?
I poped over to Madame X`s moms obituary to see that her bride to be has left a message which is obviously because I left a message. I`m just feeling angry and I dont know why. Someone kick me!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Live as if you`ll die tomorrow, Love as if you`ll never die

Greetings from the fish bowl gentle viewers. Its the early A.M here and I`m feeling in the mood to blog . Personally I have no idea what the idea of the post will be, I just feel like talking. I don`t feel like being angry, I don`t feel like yelling or throwing things... I just feel like me.
I am 5 weeks away from my vacation and saying I can`t wait would be the understatement of a lifetime. I`m saving all my cash, and if things go the way I hope, *My L* and I will be in the Dominican the whole first week of November. The last time I was on vacation was to celebrate leaving fast food and the beginning of my career at RBC. I wonder whether I`ll be celebrating a new position at work this time as well? I am looking forward to the sun, sand and a week away with *My L*. Nothing in the world is better then time with her.
I am feeling a bit tired these last few days. Last week I had strep throat and I personally don't feel like I`ve actually recovered. Its just been busy at work for 6 weeks and I am feeling the heat. I don't get any down time during my day and I feel like I have a ton of work to do (which I know I do.) I have so much I want to get done with my team, and it feels like I cant get anywhere. We`re either to busy to do anything or do tired to care. I`ve resorted to every trick I have, from camp, from Wendy's (but not from BK... thank god.) Tomorrow I`m gonna get up early and try and be at work at 11. I am going to instill the "appreciation board," from the good old days of camp massawippi. I want so badly for this team to do well. We are 7 people when other teams are 20, yet we are third place in our results. Things keep going this way, I`ll be on burn out. If I don't get the coach job I don't know what else I could possibly do...
I wonder how you are all doing tonight? I wonder who you are. I actually know a few of you and maybe some of you I don't. Its weird that there are people out there who know so much about me and I don't know you. How did you come across my little fish bowl?
Drop me a time sometime...

peace out!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

WTF Mate

I know, so soon. This post is mostly out of anger and rage. Not anger at what I`ve done or *l* even. If you know me well enough, you know of my ex... "Madame X." I spent a nice chunk of 2 years and another one"ish" living with Madame X. Since I moved out I have only seen her 1 time, and that alone was a reminder of the evils and absurdities that Madame X wields. After we parted ways she started dating a girl online (who lives in Australia - of all the gold forsaken places) and despite having only had her visit the one time, will be marrying her in a month. Now, as you can imagine, this brings a plentifully mix of emotions. I feel relieved that she continues to be someone Else's problem. I feel betrayal, due to the fact that I do not feel she ever loved me, as this relationship is a carbon copy of the one I had with her, the difference being, I spent enough time with her to know she belonged in the loonie bin. And of course, despite not ever wanting her back, its always a stab to find out your ex is getting married, especially an ex you left.
Anyway, Madame X told me that her mother had cancer and had six months to live (a fact she publically announced on facebook.) I received an email Saturday that her mother had passed. Of course I sent my condolences to the family because I would never wish this pain on anyone. I have lost a pseudo parent and have stood by * L* when she lost her dad. I went to her facebook page today to see her status read, "Still planning the wedding, even if I`m half orphaned." Now, how can I put it nicely as to not sound like a bitch... WHAT THE FUCK?!?! My biggest problem with her was her constant "suicide" attempts when we would fight. (I`d like to thank her for helping me develop relationship wise. I am good at the yelling -also known as communicating- and at the need for distance -also under communicating- but when it comes to problem resolution all I remember is sobbing and butter knives... thanks Madame X) She is obsessed with attention and the need to have the world know her business.
I saw her mother`s online obituary and where it says who she left behind it has Madame X`s name with the miserable-wife-to-be`s name in brackets. This made me jaw hit the keyboard and me lay an egg. May I reiterate the triumphant point that they, Madame X and our dearly departed Aussie, have only met once, for less then 2 weeks. I really dont`t care about Madame X, I feel bad for this poor chica, who will have spent thousands to come to our beautiful country... FOR A PSYCHO!!!! I know Madame X has not helped out the Kangaroo financially because she is a money vampire. So she`ll be broke, homeless and marries to Attila the Hun. Wow, do I feel bad for her.
I`m sorry she lost her mother. I feel for her brother and her step father. I would feel for her, and I did for a short time, until I realized that for her this is nothing more then an attention grabber. This sickens me and makes me think even less of her then I already did.
I appreciate your patience this evening gentle readers. I would also like so say to those "gentle readers" who I never knew I had, a hello from the fish bowl. Please comment if you like. I`d love to hear what you think. Please done by shy.

Peace out!!

i can be a nightmare of the greatest kind....

Evening gentle viewers. After 3 days of fever and delirium I seems to be finally beating my strep throat. You may all give a sigh of relief that I am well and no longer contagious. I have been forced to take 2 days off work, and since I did not leave my couch, I have much wisdom to share. Things have have learned, things that are not new to me, some of which I found on youtube. Sit back and enjoy: (tune in soon for my real posts)

An open letter to my love: If I could say it better I would...

something mushy and sweet

Julie Goldman and Kate Mckinnon... pure genius

Cats will one day rule the world

What i learn... (by the way half the clips of riots were taped in quebec)

cutest cat ever (sorry spike and xander)

okay, I`ll be good... my brains will return by tomorrow. I promise...

Monday, September 8, 2008

Boy meets universe

Evening all,
I`ve been obsessed with a show I used to watch called "Boy Meets World." It used to by part of the TGIF (thank god its Friday) line up on ABC. I watched it as a teenager and forgot how much is missed it. Thankfully, youtubers have posted pretty much every episode ever made. In looking at my life of late I`ve felt more drawn to certain story lines. And in turn have felt the need to post a few of my fav clips here in blog heaven.
My favorite story line in the whole series. It was a two parter, the main couple (cory and topanga) were together on and off for the whole series. In this episode, Topanga`s parents had mover her away to Pittsburgh. Cory, is heart broken without topanga and is torn because she hasn't called or written him. The episode gets good around the 7 min mark and continues into the next link. (this one is great until min 5:00)

and one of the funniest clips ever (and you`ll call me Don fransico?).. priceless (no tushie, no brushie)

and I leave you with the Feeny call. Eric used it all throughout the show... awesome

night all

Monday, September 1, 2008

you can keep your hat on

Evening gentle viewers from the fist bowl. Its overtime here at the bank and I would give my right arm to be anywhere but here. Its been an odd weekend and I feel like road kill. I did somethings what I am less then proud of.
Saturday night I was in Quebec city and I made the mistake of drinking too much. It all got out of hand so quickly. I wasnt even drinking long, an hour maybe. It was my stupidity, I was tired and hadnt eaten much. The only thing that I did good was that I told a new friend that I need to go home (my hotel.) (On a side note, its odd how people you just met can be better friends to you then people who have been in your life a while.) I was really sick, stupidly sick in fact. I know bad things could have happened to me. I was aware of that from the point when things started spinning. That's when I sought out Edith (who now has the award for best person ever) who took very good care of me.
Its hard to deal with. *My L* got really upset and I don't blame her, but I am upset as well with her. I would have been worried about her too if our places have been exchanged. But on the other hand, if she really looked at me and told me she realized it was a mistake, one mistake that I have no plans to ever repeat and flat out that she realized the grave error, I would have forgiven her at the drop of a hat. But sadly, this isn't the way things turned out. Its hard because I feel like I am the reason for all of our problems. I don't know where to go now. I have no plan of ever drinking like that again, actually right now I don't plan on ever drinking again. I just wish I could not fuck up. I try really hard but the minute I let my guard drop I do something stupid. I don't know what I can possibly say to convince her that I am reliable. I just feel like a fuck up all the time. I don't deserve her...