Everyone you wanna be might have started out like me

Happy Friday all! If you are anything like me you are celebrating the wondrous feeling that only the weekend can bring. It has been an oh so special week and I am thrilled to be free of the shackles that are work. What better way to bring in this glorious weekend but to bring it in full on Gleek style. Sit back and enjoy!

Well, the moment we have all been waiting for has arrived. Yes ladies and gentleman, regionals are here and everyone is a twitter (as opposed to everyone twittering, that is a whole different story.) Following the wonder and awe that followed Santana's coming out of sorts last week, I didn't have very high hopes for this episode. More than anything I was deterred by all the hype surrounding the fact that Glee would be introducing original songs. I had heard both "Loser Like Me" and "Get it Right" prior to the episode airing however I was far from wowed. But that's getting ahead of myself, lets start at the beginning.

I am a gals gal, but Blaine and Kurt together make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Just take a look, go on I'll wait. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbsl84aAaNE There you go, see what I mean? When Kurt sings "Blackbird" the emotion he portrays is intense You feel those feeling melt through the television. What was even more touching was the emotional transition Blaine goes through as he realizes he does in fact have feelings for our young Kurt. The range of emotion as he goes from being in awe to being in love (or lust,) it was a thing of acting beauty. As much as I love Kurt and Blaine getting their big gay mack on, their regionals performance left me wanting. Despite my utter love of all things P!nk, I felt that The Warblers had many more performances that wowed this season (um Gap flash mob?!?) and what was chosen in the end was far from that. But we all cant sing about Jesus now can we?

Let me preface this next part by saying I don't care for the Rachel/Finn/Quinn drama. But without this teen love triangle we would never have experienced Rachel's moving "Get it Right." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7qHYuVDIYY Rachel may be a princess but damn she plays sad well. For anyone who has every been that unpopular nerd, geek, outcast, its nice to see her/him win out over little Miss Perfect (even if she is an teenage mother.) Come on Finn, you know you prefer the good-girl, spoiled, awkward princess, besides we all know they are the freaky ones!

Really, the moment that caused everyone to jump up and smack their pointer finger and thumb to their forehead was most certainly "Loser Like Me." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ59jBudWwQ A simple song about being the underdog and finding a way to shake it all off. This is a song that is the upbeat, anti-bullying theme of a new generation. Now, when I heard New Directions pull off My Chemical Romance's "Sing" I honestly thought that this was the song to do. It was an amazing anthem with a great message. How could a song they wrote for a fictional glee club compete with a motivating anthem such as "Sing?" Oh my god did they prove me wrong. "Loser Like Me" is motivating and so easy to get lost in. Its now my start up music for my 6:30 am walk to work. Its "repeat on my ipod" worthy. The impact is really in how it pulls you in and provides you with comfort as well as making you feel like a giant who can take on the world!

"Original Songs" was my second favorite episode (first being "Sexy") because it was fun to watch, emotional, funny and motivating. It was filled with intricate emotions, making you feel the excitement of a first kiss to the heart pumping thrill of a long awaited victory. Damn you Glee, you do it to us every week!

Breakfast is Confusing

Afternoon all. I had to come back to this happy place to talk a little about Glee. I find this to be a small obsession and frankly I need to talk about it. If you haven't seen episode 15 (everyone has a random) then please stop reading because you'll be spoiled.

Its not a surprise that I like girl on girl, alot. Infact I like it so much I b

log about it. For anyone who has followed Brittany and Santana you know that their "relationship" has caused a few of the saphic sisterhood to dislike the lack of romantic interactions these two share (or I guess, don't share.) Glee creator Ryan Murphy has been criticized for using these two lovely ladies as eye candy. Well Mr.Murphy you made a entire population stand up and cheer and then break down and cry last night. Santana is by far one of the most controversial characters on the show. She flaunts her sex appeal regularly and more often then not uses her body to get what she wants. Her sharp tongue has slashed even the toughest of souls and she takes no prisoners. Brittany on the other hand is the equivalent of that sad little puppy who often forgets how to walk down steps. She is a lovable character that has the best one liners on the show (anthem: the bottom of an ants pants.) Combine these two and you would think it would be disaster. Well my dear friends you are oh so wrong. This weeks episode was, for me, the best of season 2! The intimate way in which we experienced the anger, fear and final understanding that accompanies coming to term with ones sexuality was exquisite. Santana's outpouring of emotion was heartwarming. Who hasn't found themselves in love with someone they cannot have. Most homosexual individuals have experienced the pain of coming to terms with something that may very well rip their world apart. Most people have experienced that gut wrenching pain of loving someone who will never love you in the same way you love them. That truly helpless feeling that you get when no matter what you do or say, you can't change someones feelings for you.

Glee to some people is just a bunch of kids singing. Now I like the singing as much as the next dyke but the writing is what brings me back every week. (Well that and the sexified ladies but who's counting!?!) But when it really gets down to it the message is what draws us all in. Glee is like a singing Breakfast Club for a whole new generation. Everyone identifies with atleast one of the characters. That's why we all love this show, why we laugh when Brittany zings us (Dolphins are just gay sharks,) or sigh when Kurt gives us puppy eyes, or cry when Santana's heart grows three sizes and then gets crushed.

I leave you with the words of an iconic movie:

"Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detentionfor whatever it was we did wrong. What we did *was* wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...and an athlete... and a basket case... a princess...and a criminal... Does that answer your question?... Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoyvUk24Ui8

Where to find me

I am planning something a little different. So for a while you will find me here:

http://365-days-of-change.blogspot.com/2011/03/welcome-to-my-journey.html

Been too long

I promise you all I am back and alive. Expect more from me within a few days.

Miss you all

BK

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep/Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat/I hope it's gonna make you notice

Afternoon gentle viewers. I know! I`m back so soon!!! I find myself wanting to write more this week. Since the Olympics have come and gone I thought I would give you my review of the opening and closing and everything that happened in between.

Since the opening ceremonies happened while I was in Cuba I only had the opportunity to watch them after the Olympics had ended. As much as I clapped and jumped around watching team Canada march in (I was grateful for the power to fast forward) I found it at times boring and uneventful (much like the prairies.) K.D Lang was impressive and the aerials on the prairies and fiddlers were fun and energetic I found it lacked any real energy. 

The closing ceremonies were far more fun. Feeling more like a rock show then anything else. Well except for the giant inflatable beavers and mounties, those I have never seen at any rock concert! 

In between both of these parties were the actual sporting events. I had the good fortune to witness our first Gold on Canadian soil as well as re watch the same clip 107 times the following morning. Like all Canadians I was proud to finally have this moment and all subsequent metals that followed.

As with every Olympic I was glued to my TV to watch the Canadian Woman overtake the US in hockey (as we did as well, less easily, in men's hockey as well.) I, again, as always got emotional and teary eyed and the sight of the women`s team, my idols, having the gold metal placed over their heads. 

Overall I`d say that this was a pretty good Olympics. I could have done without all the lip singing during both the opening and closing ceremonies, but what can you do.

So I ask you all, what did you think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXXVXxfKbLQ - Moir and Virtue Everybody Dance Now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1gzDTqPjMg - Joannie Rocette - Vole

Into your eyes/Hopeless and taken/We stole our new lives/Through blood an pain/In defense of our dreams

Good evening gentle viewers. I hope this finds you having a pleasant evening. I know I haven't been around a lot lately. In only 3 weeks I will have Internet access that will allow me to post on a more consistent basis. I feel like I have 300 things to talk about and I`m trying to prioritize my brain to cause minimal impact to your sanity.
Its been almost 6 months since my close friend and colleague passed away. Also in 2 days it would have been her 3 year anniversary at RBC, an occasion she`ll never see. She has been in my thoughts a lot in the last few weeks. I have done my best to remember all the good things about her, but frankly I just miss her so damn much. So many little things make me think about her and how unfair I feel life is. It still feels raw and far from "healing," which is a cruel feeling. I still have a hard time believing I`ll never see her again.
I received an email from someone I knew years ago. Essentially it was a "coming out" email and from what I gathered (and what she insinuated) this was the first time that she had made any outward expression of her sexuality. Firstly, I was immensely touched that she had reached out to me. In life you are rarely given the opportunity to support someone through something that, at times is traumatic, and often is extremely difficult. I sincerely hope that I can be of at least some help. Secondly, I flashed to a conversation I had with a friend I worked with way back at Wendy`s. She had asked why I put myself out there so much as a gay individual. I responded simply that if I could make life easier for one person, if I could have a positive impact on one person in life, then all the pain, all the fighting would be worth it. And situations like this really do make me feel like there is a pay off for all the work.
I guess that should be it for the evening. I have no desire to overload you with my brain farts this evening. I should, of course, be getting my ass to bed soon. I am looking forward to being able to write more often for you all. I appreciate everyone of you and the comments I`ve received. I truly do appreciate having you here and knowing that we all have a connection. I wish you all sweet dreams and happy days.

Until next time.

You're the dream that I've been chasing after years of waiting/For a chance to fall and shine/Everyone calls you amazing, I just call you mine

Evening gentle viewers. Its been a little while since we have spoken. Work has been busy and I`ve been too tired to do much once I get home. Even now I should be trying to sleep (which looks a lot like watching old Buffy episodes on my couch with the cats) but instead here I sit typing my little dyke heart away. So here is the verbal diarrhea that seems to be in my head of lately.
I spoke with my mother late last week and was surprised to hear that my father has spent the last 2 months having cancer treatment less then 2 hours from here. My mother didn't even hear it from his own mouth but from a friend of a friend at a funeral. I have spoken to my father 1 time in 10 years. The last time (and only time) we spoke was on the phone and I told him I wouldn't call him until he made the first move. Needless to say I`m still waiting. My sister (3 years younger) called him a year ago, left 3 telephone messages, her address and her email address. Has he called her.... a big nopers. I do not want to call him. I do not want to talk to him. I know that he alone has the ability to turn me into a insecure five year old girl. I have spent years getting away from that feeling, working to not let his words control my life. I have been to therapist, I have been validated in my feelings and feel justification for my anger. And yet I`m worried that in the event he kicks the proverbial bucket I`ll feel guilty. My conundrum is that I`m not sure I`m worried about feeling guilty about not calling him, more that I am guilty for not thinking logically about the situation. So here I sit, torn between what to do. I hate being indecisive!!!!
On a more happy note. The wonderful "Miss Love of my life" will be moving in to a new apartment in April. We are presently on the hunt for a new place with lots of room for our monsters with the possibility of eventually getting a puppy (a boston terrier.) I am so unbelievably ready for this step and cant wait to have my girl right there with me every night. I`ll be happy once we find a place but we honestly just started looking. And in just over 2 weeks Miss LomL and I will be relaxing on a beach in Cuba with a drink in hand. I cannot wait. I know its been 2 1/2 months since my last vacation, but I need to get away from the city and all these headaches. I just want to be away from it all.
Wow, I`m wordy today. I hope this long cold dreary January is treating you all well. Hope were your holidays? Was the big lezzie Santa good to you all? Feel free to let me know.

I leave you with a lovie dovie clip of my favorite TV couple. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EQ7Ad3IeRg&NR=1

After posting I came to the realization that I have been writing for 3 years. This is the longest I have ever kept anything like this going. I`m happy with the progress that I have seen over the 3 years. I`m happy with the progress I have made. I am a week or so shy of my 2 year anniversary at rbc and it seems like just yesterday I was starting. Life is good.