Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping/While my guitar gently weeps/I look at you all/Still my guitar gently weeps

Evening Gentle Viewers. It has been a little while since I have sat here and emptied my heart out to you all. It has most certainly been a trying time since we last spoke and I cannot possibly wait to be away from work in a few days.

Life has new meaning for me. I have come to the realization that there is a very fine line between what is and what might have been. Could one simple change to your routine bring disaster to you or those around you? Or could not choosing to deviate from your daily routine bring you that much closer to ruin. What does it take to turn your make you realize the fragility (if that's even a word) of our own existence? Almost 2 months ago a very close friend and colleague of mine was out walker her dog when a car going only 10 kilometers an how hit her. 2 days later she was dead and we were all left shocked and confused as to how this all happened. Was it fate that took her away from us? Was it simply a case of wrong place, wrong time? Or was it simply her time to go? I cannot answer that question and it infuriates me! Most of all it scares me. It makes life feel like it could crumble in my hands... I just miss her and think life is a cruel and harsh place.

What else can I say ladies and gentleman (more ladies - thanks to those that read my madness!!!) I was at a dinner part surrounded by queer women and the debate over Rosie O`Donnell came up. A friend had strong feelings about Rosie choosing to come out much later after leaving television unlike our supreme leader Ellen, who did it front and center in front of millions. From there things somehow spiraled into gay bashing (both verbal and physical.) The room became quickly divided between those who genuinely feared for their life and those who really never thought about it. I, obviously, fell into the ladder category. This just made it even more apparent that my life and interactions are very different from the norm and most people, even queers like me, don`t have any idea what being under attack daily is like. Which makes me feel alone but at least content that if they don`t understand then maybe its happening less.

On another queer but much happier note: T.V has a new queer power couple. I am absolutely in love with Grey`s Anatomy`s Arizona Robins and Callie Torres. I know I was a huge fan of Callie and Erica last year, but good god to I love these two. Despite limited physical affection I still do a happy dance every time they are on screen together.
Here, see for yourself:
I love... love.

So ladies I think its time to check out for the night. Thank you for reading. Good night from the fish bowl.

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